Shannon Stach and her fianc\u00e9 recently put an offer in on a great Toronto home, one they could envision settling down and raising a family in. They lost the bid by a mere $2,500.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were shocked,\u201d she says. \u201cThat was our first time in this process of putting an offer down.\u201d<\/p>\n
With almost 30 home showings under her belt and a wedding on the horizon, Stach, a registered social worker and psychotherapist, is getting a glimpse of what some of some of her clients experience during their home purchasing journey : FOMO<\/strong>.<\/p>\n FOMO \u2014 the fear of missing out \u2014 is a form of social anxiety that is caused by being absent from events that are happening elsewhere. Prevalent among young people, FOMO is often associated with social media use, where users can constantly monitor what their peers are doing. The need to feel connected and involved in a common experience is a human instinct. Yet, some homebuyers are feeling the effects of FOMO \u2014 that they may never be able to participate in the dream of being a homeowner. Stach attributes this to high social expectations, especially for those like herself who are in the process of preparing for family life.<\/p>\n \u201cIt comes not only from perhaps family that are asking us, \u2018When are you getting married? When are you going to have kids?\u2019 I don\u2019t want to have kids until I can have a home, and very often people can\u2019t buy homes, so they\u2019re missing this key point,\u201d she says. \u201cFor women it starts to go to their heads. [They\u2019ll say], \u2018My biological clock is ticking, but I can\u2019t buy a home. I don\u2019t want to have kids in a condo.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Stach explains that FOMO, if left unchecked, can fester into larger psychological issues. FOMO victims might engage in impulsive spending behavior as a release from the financial restraints of saving for home buying expenses. First-time buyers may also experience negative thoughts or develop symptoms of general anxiety \u2014 irritability, sadness, chest tightness and heart palpitations. One American study conducted by Homes.com in 2018 found that one-in-three homebuyers cried from stress at some point in the home-buying process.<\/p>\n \u201cI see a lot of people who then internalize this and get those feelings or thoughts of not being good enough or not measuring up to other people, which can create this whole downward spiral of that leading from the FOMO of not being able to buy a house to, \u2018Well, I\u2019m not good enough in my life,\u2019\u201d says Stach.<\/p>\n Steve Massaroni, a broker with Sutton Admiral\u2019s The Brokers Group, has worked with his fair share of first-time home buyers. He\u2019s seen first-hand how the unfamiliar process of house hunting can stress out hopeful homeowners.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s an emotional roller coaster,\u201d he says. \u201cYou\u2019re doing all of this on top of work, plus kids. It\u2019s all on top of your norm. For a first-time buyer, it\u2019s something out of their comfort zone. Nobody likes being out of their comfort zone.\u201d<\/p>\n To cover any \u201cpain points\u201d of the transaction, Massaroni rewards his clients whenever they overcome a first-time buyer milestone \u2014 a bottle of wine on the first offer signing, or a cleaner during the move-in day.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a real estate agent. I\u2019m used to the buying, selling and moving. First time buyers \u2014 it\u2019s their first time,\u201d he says. \u201cThey\u2019ve never done this before. They really need their hand held, to hear the plan, do some homework, figure out exactly want they want, make an educated decision.\u201d<\/p>\n To prevent anxiety and minimize the effects of FOMO, here\u2019s a few tips Massaroni and Stach recommend :<\/p>\n 1. Make a top-5 list, but only hope to get two<\/strong><\/p>\n Narrowing down what you want can help keep you grounded. When working with a client, Massaroni gets them to compartmentalize the things they must have in a home down to five items, but to only set their expectations so high.<\/p>\n \u201cIf they get two of them, then the house is good,\u201d says Massaroni. \u201cThere\u2019s no perfect house out there.\u201d<\/p>\n Massaroni preaches that organization is key, so setting a plan for the future will help a first-time buyers envision what kind of home they\u2019ll require for their yet-to-come needs.<\/p>\n \u201cI try to get my new home buyers to do a one, five, and ten year life plan because that guides them in the right way,\u201d he says. \u201cIf they say that they want to have a family or kids, or have pets, like a dog, they\u2019re going to want to be close to schools and parks.\u201d<\/p>\n 2. Don\u2019t take internal blame for an external problem<\/strong><\/p>\n Keeping to your regular routine of eating healthy and exercising, Stach says, is an important part of practicing self-care in high-stress situations like home purchasing. It\u2019s also crucial to be conscious of how you talk to yourself.<\/p>\n \u201cBe really mindful that you not buying a home is not based on a condition of you not being good enough,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s really hard with what\u2019s happening right now in our market, in our economy and in our society.\u201d<\/p>\n Taking internal blame for an external problem will lead to emotional torture. New homebuyers should be careful not to take the onus for disadvantages in the real estate market that are beyond their control.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is the type of environment that we\u2019re in. It\u2019s a guessing game. You\u2019re shooting blanks and you don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen,\u201d says Stach.<\/p>\n 3. Eliminate anxiety-inducing noise<\/strong><\/p>\n If an auntie\u2019s interrogation on your latest bidding war at the family barbeque is getting under your skin, it\u2019s alright to change the conversation channel. Productive conversations of encouragement and support can be uplifting for a first-time buyer, but there should be limits if one is experiencing FOMO.<\/p>\n \u201cI would say be really mindful of setting boundaries of how much you\u2019re on your phone, how much you communicate to specific people,\u201d says Stach. \u201cIf this time is really stressful for you and you are experiencing FOMO, you need to set boundaries and say, \u2018This is one conversation that I\u2019m not able to have right now. I can be happy for my friends, but I\u2019m not ready to have full-on conversations about this process with them yet.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Massaroni recommends a more drastic approach \u2014 tuning out all together.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s where first-time home buyers have to stop reading the papers and stop the the doom and gloom and stop going online and going insane,\u201d he says. \u201cEliminate the noise.\u201d<\/p>\n